Why Millennials Leave the Church

Ron
3:54 pm

A short time ago, Rachael Held Evans posted an article on the CNN website on the topic, “Why Millennials Leave the Church.” The article tapped into a vein, capillary and artery because 100,000 people responded to the article. Millennials or Mosaics are the age bracket between 1984 and 2002 (12 to 30 year olds). In this age bracket, 66% leave their faith in the first decade of their adult life.¹88% or 9 out of 10 lose their faith between high school and college.²They also contend that of the key factors that cause them to grow in their faith (prayer, family, friends, Bible, having children, relationships, etc.), the church is not in the top 10. About 1/3 of Mosaics consider themselves Christians.³

The church is in a crisis, though unperceived in many corridors. This first hit me several years ago. Early on a Sunday morning, I awakened with an uneasy feeling. I went to my favorite “reading chair” to do some reading and praying before church. Quietly, in the background I had the TV tuned into a preacher. In an almost serendipitous moment, for no apparent reason I found myself captivated by his words. He was using searing rhetoric to talk about the impact of Christianity upon culture. He said, the Traditionalist generation (older retirees age bracket) had a 65% Bible-based thinking. In the Boomer generation (1946-1964) that perspective slipped to 35%. In Generation ‘X” (1965-1979) Bible-based thinking further slipped to 17%. Millennialists, Mosaics or Generation “Y” or “i” Bible-based thinking is around 4%.” His next words were laced with emphasis, “We are in jeopardy of losing a generation to the message of Jesus Christ.”

Oddly enough I had heard those “stats” before, but this time I felt enraged. I was angered by a deception in our age. I felt I heard God say, “I’m not going to lose a generation, I’m going to raise one up.

That being the case, what are the issues that are causing Millennials to leave the church? In examining various sources, I’ve isolated 11 key areas to reach Millennialists:

The church is boring or irrelevant.
Authenticity
Relationships are a key to maintain Millennials.
Millennials don’t want a gospel of rules and regulations.
Millennials want to know what we stand for, as opposed to what we stand against.
Millennials don’t simply want questions that have predetermined answers.
Millennials want their LGBT friends to feel welcome in the church.
Millennials don’t want holiness to simply be about sex, but social justice as well.
Millennials don’t want a message and a latte, and then be sent home.
Millennials don’t just want style, but substance.

1. The church is boring or irrelevant.

Boring simply means it doesn’t relate to me, or it’s irrelevant. What does relevant really mean? Relevant means it is pertinent or connected to you. Perhaps more important is what makes you irrelevant? Something becomes irrelevant when what is on the outside grows faster than what grows on the inside. In other words, when culture grows quicker than our ability to communicate to it, the church becomes irrelevant. While our message never changes, our method of communication must. If I fall behind what the expression of culture is, I fail to effectively connect with it. Life is complicated and most people cope by withdrawal because they don’t know how to relate to it. Culture is changing. The economy is sliding out of control. Terrorism is at our doorstep. Marriages and families are reeling in complex issues. The political world is unsettling. We hear about things like cover-ups and lies. We hear about potential scandals like Fast & Furious, Benghazi, the IRS, the VA and on and on the list goes. What about the poor? Sometimes the church speaks in unsophisticated terminology that seems to miss the point and centers on what is wrong,

2. Authenticity

One day I asked my grown son how his church was on a particular Sunday. He said, “Dad, it was authentic!” he went on to ask, “How was your service?” I almost didn’t know what to say… “inauthentic…” What was he getting at? Youth culture is hungry for something that is real. Rachael Held Evans says, “Millennials have a highly sensitive ‘BS’ meter…we’re not fooled by consumerism or performances, when churches cater to what they think we want.” It’s not about slickest, hippest or jeans, or suits. My response is neither is it not about those things. Many Millennials have equated traditionalism as substance. You don’t have to have incense swinging in the isle to be substantive. The issue is to be able to give intelligent answers to what the Bible advocates. It’s insight for knowledge, it’s insight for living. How does the Bible relate to the complexities of modern life? Millennials, however are also known as the “Me Generation.” This simply means they have a huge entitlement mentality. Substance does not have to reflect only corporate consumerism, but personal consumerism as well. Substance does mean we want Jesus to shape us, not us to shape Jesus.

3. Relationships are a key to maintain Millennials.

Mosaics or Millennials want to be connected, not lectured (which means they want to be a part of the conversation). Those Millennials who stay in the church are those who have close relationships with those inside the church (59% of those who stayed reported such friendships, versus 31% among those who are no longer active⁴). Statistically 7 out of 10 people who dropped out of church, don’t have a close relationship and 9 out of 10 don’t have a mentor. Only 20% of Millennials say going to church is important and huge numbers of youth don’t feel accepted in church. The obvious response to this is 2-fold: 1. Create mentoring (discipling) relationships in what we do and 2. Let the love and grace of God dominate our gospel message. Millennials are feeling a legalistic, condemnatory gospel.

4. Millennials don’t want a gospel of rules and regulations.

This statement raises visuals of all kinds depending on your philosophical/theological bent. The term “gospel” means good news. One scholar says it literally means the nearly too good to be true news.⁵
Millennials reject a legalism that makes them feel spiritually schizophrenic. Obviously, schizophrenia is a split personality. Spiritual schizophrenia is a person who knows God can, they just don’t know if He will for them. Millennials reject a church that causes them to feel like they don’t quality to be used by God or to be blessed. We need to help them understand they are qualified in Christ (Col. 1:12). We need to understand the essence of organic Christianity:

Christianity is not as much about the changed life, as it is the exchanged life (Gal. 2:20).
Christianity is not as much about living for God, as it is living through Him (1 Jn. 4:9).
Not as much about forgiveness of sin, as it is intimacy with God (Jn. 17:3).
Not as much about the do as it is about the done (Eph. 1:3).
Not as much about achieving, as it is about receiving (2 Pet. 1:3; Jn. 19:30; Heb. 4:10).
Christianity is about the gospel (the nearly too good to be true news).
Christianity is more about getting heaven in you as it is getting you into heaven. (Jn. 3:3).
Not as much about going to victory, as coming from victory (Col. 2:14, 15).
Christianity is about being a new species of being (2 Cor. 5:17).
Not as much about rules and regulations, as it is intimacy with God. It is about the ability to rule and reign in life through grace and righteousness (Rom. 5:17).

However, we have to help youth culture understand real repentance (not penance) is essential to grow in Him. Remember, it’s the grace of God that leads men to repentance (Rom.7:4).

5. Millennials want to know what we stand for, as opposed to what we stand against.

Most of Christianity is denunciatory. We are good at what we’re against, but not as good at what we’re for. Certainly, we are against sin, but this is not the essence of our message. We are for the love of God and man, we are for the kingdom of God, we are for healthy bodies and lifestyles, we are for redemption, we are for productivity, we are for people’s prosperity, we are for life abundantly, we are for real success, etc.

6. Millennials don’t simply want questions that have predetermined answers.

At this point, I hear them cry for dialogue and I believe we must afford them that opportunity. However, postmodernism has spun a massive relativism. Obviously, relativism means truth is relative to each individual’s perception of truth. There are certain segments of the church that have facilitated a relative truth. This is simply a historical cycle that repeats itself. Relativism must be approached intelligently. For instance, let me give you the result of relativism in culture:
- Mosaics use profanity in public 67% as opposed to 19% among Boomers.
- They are 9 times more likely to have sex outside of marriage than Boomers.
- They are 6 times more like to lie.
- They are 3 times more likely to get drunk.
- They are 2 times more likely to look at porn.⁶

You are free to argue the efficacy of these stats, but most people, including Mosaics, would agree this is not a healthy trend. I believe most Millennials rejection of an absolute paradigm is more about legalism, than absolute truth. There can be great comfort in absolute truth.

7. Millennials want their LGBT friends to feel welcome in the church.

This is a delicate and perhaps a watershed issue of our time. How you frame the question determines the issues’ answer for Millennials. If this question is a cultural issue that defines it as gay right thus any dissenter is a hater, intolerant and a bigot. If the question is one of morality that is defined by the Bible then it is an issue of extended ministry. So let’s break down this issue. First of all, every human being is worthy to be treated with dignity, respect and tolerance. Tolerance used to mean respect; today it means all ideas are equal. The fact of the matter is, all ideas are not equal. There are right ideas and wrong ideas. Someone may have an idea that the moon is made with blue cheese and it is certainly their right to do so, but it doesn’t make it right or valid. Nor does it mean I’m a hater if I don’t agree. Indeed, I can respect and tolerate gay rights without agreeing with them. I’m not bigoted or a hater. Gay marriages is an issue of redefinition. The Bible from Genesis forward defines a marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman. A gay relationship assumes that men/women are interchangeable. Yet, scripture, in multiple passages defines the roles of men and women differently — they are not interchangeable. One cannot inadvertently redefine scripture based on philosophy and culture. Opinions change constantly, truth remains a constant. A Christian worldview must be established on a hermeneutical understanding of scripture. Not a cultural shift. We don’t get to change what God says, if it is not in conjunction with our cultural precedent. Love respects everyone, but it doesn’t mandate agreement; and, disagreement doesn’t merit bigotry. This is not Duck Dynasty rhetoric, it is loving them and being willing to stick with gays in difficult times. This is more than love rhetoric, it is love demonstrated. Human opinion changes, but truth does not.

8. Millennials don’t want holiness to simply be about sex, but social justice as well.

I agree that holy living isn’t simply relegated to sexual conduct. By the way, holy simply means separate…from the world’s system. Again, as a church we’re not about simply what we’re against but what we’re for. We’re for everyone being loved and respected. We’re for joy and peace in the world. We’re for prosperity for people. We’re for healthy living and healthy bodies. We’re for happy marriages and happy homes. We’re for emotional stability and productive lives…, etc. With that in mind, sexual promiscuity at virtually every level violates many of the things we’re for. Having said that, it’s not the only violating contributor. Thus, the call to social justice. However, social justice is hard to pin down. It seems to embrace people having equal rights and opportunities—everyone, from the poorest of the poor to richest. The idea is to keep an equal playing field, and that is what is meant by just and fair. On the upside the church definitively should reach the poor and widows (Jas. 1:27). Where social justice becomes inept is when equal opportunity is turned into entitlement, by lack of responsibility. Entitlement cries out, I deserve this, even though I didn’t do what was required. Equal opportunity, but there also needs to be equal effort that results in capitalism.

9. Millennials don’t want a message and a latte, and then be sent home.

This is a call to substance. Millennials are crying out to connect their faith to their complex lives. This call to substance is a call to mentoring (or discipleship). There’s a difference between teaching and mentoring. A teacher is someone who imparts information, but relies on the learner to determine its importance and application. A mentor is one who coaches the learner to correct understanding of important information and trains the person in specific application. Millennials long for mentors. They also crave reverse mentoring. Reverse mentoring is where the older generation realizes they are not completely in touch with how “20 somethings” are motivated. These young people bring fresh eyes, open minds and links to the technology of our future. In so doing you close the gap to both generations.
Millennials also want to discover their mission in the world. They want a meaningful purpose. While it is estimated 90% of people don’t know their purpose, Millennials are unwilling to accept that. Practical teaching on purpose is particularly meaningful.
Millennials are also experience-oriented. Giving them outlets to experience Christ, such as mission trips, expands their thinking.
They want to discover and know their gifts. Gift assessments are meaningful to them.
They want to know how the Bible relates to their careers, not just to the church.

10. Millennials don’t just want style, but substance.

They want intellectual answers, not simply, the Bible says… They want to know the “why” behind the “what.” Make sure there is research behind your statements.
While many Millennials are running to traditional settings, it’s not because it is better, but it is perceived as being more substantive.
Millennials aren’t really wanting to redefine Christianity, they want a demonstration of Christianity.
They want help in interpreting culture…not just what the Bible says. While I’m a big believer in authoritative paradigms, I also believe in giving rationales.
They want to know how Christianity positively contributes to society. Couch your theology with societal practicality.
They are crying out for a Christian worldview. By the time they graduate high school, we should have provided them with such a world view to dialogue with secularism.
They don’t want their faith wrapped around Sunday morning. They want to know how their faith relates to their problems. They want a Helistic faith and how it gives a meaningful life.